


jus post bellum

by romanoff



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Major Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3833359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanoff/pseuds/romanoff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the dust settles, Pepper finds Tony sitting on the edge, cigarette in hand and hair lifting in the breeze, New York stretched out beneath his swinging feet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	jus post bellum

**Author's Note:**

> Major spoilers for AOU. You can't say I didn't warn you! I think I've probably spoiled about every major thing that happens in this story, so read at your own risk.

He's sitting on the edge of the world, legs swinging in the air.

Or maybe the edge of the quinjet station is more accurate. Pepper's heels are crunching over broken glass, slipping slightly, but she doesn't dare take them off. How even here has been touched by the assault she doesn't know, but she knows it's not worth risky the blood feet.

And Tony, Tony does not look around. So Pepper pauses, a few feet away, unwilling to scare him into a thousand foot drop. He's just sitting, hunched slightly. A bottle by his side and a smoke in his hand, packet resting gently next to his leg.

She watches him lift for another drag, head tipped back, smoke spilling from his lips into the air. He grinds the butt into the metal of the ground and then flicks what's left off the tower, leaving it to spiral below.

"Hey honey." He says around another cigarette, carefully lighting up, hands cupped around the smoke. "Safe trip?"

Same words he asks every time. Hey honey. Safe trip? It's preposterous, considering what Tony does for a living, and considering that compared to outer space, the journey from California to New York really isn't that much of a trek.

"Same old." She says, and pauses, heels shifting on the metal landing pad. "Sweetie," she adds "you're very close to the edge."

Tony takes another drag. "It was my fault." He says, casually.

Pepper is contained. "Your fault?"

"If you were wondering." Tony continues. "It was on me, this time. It was on me, again."

"Okay." Pepper says, evenly, tamping down on the anxiety that starts in her stomach. Not for him, exactly, no. But for what happens because of him. "Do you think you could look at me?"

Tony seems to think, softly blowing smoke out over the city. It catches slightly in a breeze, drifting over to where she stands, pungent, even diluted with the air. She hates when Tony smokes, hates it, mainly because after twenty years her cravings haven't quite gone away. "No," he says conversationally "I don't think so."

Pepper had lost her train of thought. "Don't think what, sweetie?"

"Don't think I can look at you. Don't worry," he says "I'm not gonna jump."

Pepper goes for joking. "Jarvis wouldn't let you, anyway."

Abruptly, Tony lifts his head. "Jarvis is dead."

Pepper blinks, mouth going dry. "What?"

"He's dead. Ultron -- he's gone. Jarvis is gone."

"I'm sorry." Pepper says, measuredly.

"I created life." Tony says dully, breeze picking at his hair. "I created a living thing."

"Ultron -- "

"Two living things." Tony corrects. He laughs, slightly, bitter and acrid. "I forgot about Ultron. Two things. I played Frankenstein twice this week." He drills his cigarette into the metal even though it's not even half finished. It leaves a small round burn in the ground, and he just lets it drop, rolling off the tower and into the wind. 

"The tower's a mess." Pepper tries.

"That's on me, too."

She swallows and has to force down anger. She's only human. She loves him, but he's a mess, and today could have gone very, very differently. "Maria sent me the low-down." She says "But it's getting dark. You'll be cold."

"Yeah." Tony agrees. "You want a drink?"

"No." Pepper says. "Neither do you." She adds.

"That's true." Tony sighs. He brushes off his pants. He's still wearing the tight undershirt for his suit. Pepper can see the goosebumps on his arms. He closes the packet and shuffles back slightly, standing.

He turns. "Here." He says, handing her the cigarettes. "I'm sorry. I know you hate smoking."

Pepper's about to smile and pull him into a hug but there's something staining the cardboard. "You're bleeding."

She grabs his hand, tugging it up as he passively stands there, eyes trained on her face. There are scars, criss-crossing across his palm and slicing deep over his hand, up the top of his wrist. Little flecks, too, that she sees when she turns over his hands, cuts into his knuckles and following the lines of his fist. "You punched the glass."

"No." Tony says "It just... got it the way."

Pepper looks at him, then. Exhausted, clearly, a cut running down over his temple and bruises around his eyes, deep and purpling. He must have hit his nose, because the blood is dried on his upper lip. Pepper brushes it, lightly, with her fingers, tracing the wound on the side of his head, and Tony's eyes flutter shut, head resting in her palm.

"You should shower." She says quietly. "And then we'll talk."

"It's nothing you can fix." 

"I know that." She says. "I'm not trying to."

"We lost people, today."

Pepper pauses. "Where's your team?"

Tony gives a half-hearted shrug, one shoulder only. The other, Pepper notices, is swollen and bruising. "Steve's... with the girl. Clint went home, didn't want to hang around. Nat... I don't know. Maybe with Steve. I guess Thor's there, too."

"Is Bruce in the lab?"

Tony's eyes close. He catches Pepper's wrist, and for a moment she thinks he's holding it to his cheek. But then he lowers it back down to her waist. "Bruce is gone." He croaks.

Pepper blinks. "Gone?" She says "As in -- "

"Gone." Tony repeats. "Not dead, just... apparently playing God got to him more than me. Shows you who the monster is, really."

"He just -- "

"We don't know." Tony says, dully. "He's not here. And even I can't track that jet."

Pepper falls quiet. "I'm sorry." She says.

Tony shakes his head. "How can you even think to apologise?" He says. And then he goes for a smile. "We have the place to ourselves, tonight."

"It the apartment still, you know. Working?"

"I haven't downloaded Friday onto the system yet. Just -- it's functioning."

Pepper smoothes her hand over the back of Tony's hair. "Take a shower." She says softly "Let me fix your hand."

Tony takes in a deep breath. "Right." He says, quietly. "Right."

Their feet crunch over the glass that litters the metal ground.

 

He's barely able to wrap the towel around his waist. Instead, he emerges from the bathroom with it held tight in one hand, blood seeping over the white, and his shoulder swollen twice it's natural size. Hair damp, skin warm and slightly red from the water, Pepper stands, gently prising the towel from his cut fingers. "It's nothing I haven't seen before." She chides.

Which is true. She doesn't spare him a second glance, pointing him to the bed and laying out the bandages. She fetches the ice-pack from the mini-fridge and kneels up on the bed, carefully pressing it to the swollen skin. Tony hisses, wincing, and his hand shoots up, digging into her skin. "Too much?" She asks.

"No." He croaks. "Just -- easy."

Pepper hums slightly, loose hair ticking Tony's cheek as she straps the pack to Tony's shoulder. "It's not dislocated." She says "You've probably torn the muscle again." His shoulder's weak, has been for awhile since he broke it last summer. God, that had been a nightmare. He hadn't been able to sleep for the pain, not until Doctor Cho had given in to Pepper's relentless harping and fixed it for an extortionate price.

Tony slumps, sighing, and rubs his hand over the joint. "Yeah." He agrees, every line in his body written with exhaustion. "Probably."

"You're not so talkative tonight." Pepper says, snipping tape with her teeth as she secure it in place.

"Sorry." Tony says, apologetically. "Just -- there's a whole city in ruins, you know."

Rather them than you Pepper thinks, suddenly, selfishly. "Civilian death was minimal."

"They shouldn't have had to die at all."

"Tony -- "

"I thought I could be clever."

"Well you thought wrong." Pepper snaps. "You thought wrong. And you can't change it, so."

Tony pauses. "I created life." 

There it is. Tony hates what he's done, but there's a tinge of wonderment in his tone, too. "You told me you weren't even close."

Tony looks away. "The, uh. You remember Loki's sceptre."

"Tony." Pepper begins to admonish.

"I know." He says "I know, I know, I -- I don't know what happened. I don't know what came over me, I -- I remember getting out of the suit, and I remember -- it gets blurry. I see things. She showed me things. And I -- I had to."

"You had to what."

Tony looks up. "Stop it." He says, simply.

"Ultron killed Jarvis."

"Not quite."

Pepper frowns. "You said -- "

"I did it again."

"Did what?"

"Tried it again. Creating life. This time -- you remember the cradle? After the surgery, Cho -- "

"I remember." Two days in that thing and Tony's chest had been good as new. Better, even, than Pepper remembers, like a fresh slate. "It creates tissue."

"Ultron wanted a body. He -- he tried to grow one, using the stone from Loki's sceptre. It's complicated, but -- we intercepted it. And I thought I could use Jarvis to... to finish what I started."

Pepper's fingers slip off the back of Tony's neck. "Tony." She says, slowly. "What did you do?"

"What did we do, Bruce, Bruce..." Tony trails off. "It worked. We created life."

Pepper blinks. "And -- "

"I've never seen anything like it." Tony says, quietly. "He's not human, he -- he wants to save us."

"Save... us."

"All of us. Humanity. He thinks we're so, so special."

"Jarvis?"

"No." Tony says quietly. "The Vision."

"It worked." Pepper says. "What you wanted. It worked."

Tony's hand is still bleeding sluggishly over his thigh. "Yeah." He says "I guess you could say that."

She takes his wrist, gently dabbing the cuts with anti-septic. "The Vision." She says. "Is that his name?"

"Uh." Tony blinks, as if taken aback. "Honestly, we haven't -- I guess so, yeah. He'll choose his own name."

"He'll choose his... just how sentient are we talking, Tony?"

"I'm talking," he croaks "about an entirely independent body. Self-regulating, with real brain matter, who -- who has power you can't -- power I can't comprehend."

"He has the stone?"

"In his head. He -- " Tony shakes his head. "Whatever."

"And you're sure he's a man?" Pepper says, wryly. "Does he have junk?"

Tony blinks, and then looks down, frowning. "My my, Miss Potts. That's shocking."

"Valid question."

"No he doesn't have an eight-foot shlong if that's what you're asking."

Pepper smirks, slightly, soft smile on her lips. "Well, you did build him."

"That's true. I'll consider it next time."

"Next time?"

"Who am I kidding, this guy's one of a kind."

They fall into silence, briefly. "It is weird for you?"

"I think it's weird for everyone, Pep."

"No, I mean -- you created him. It's... AI."

"He can think on his own, act on his own. Calling him mine is tantamount to slavery."

"Jarvis was yours." She says, calmly "I'm just asking if it's weird." Tony doesn't really show anger the way most people do. He doesn't shout or scream or snap. It comes in controlled outbursts, like one punch through glass, or in harsh, fast quips. He always settles easy enough. It's what endears her to him. She hates angry men.

But there's an undercurrent simmering under his skin like electricity. He needs to break something, she thinks, something that's not his own, vulnerable body. Maybe she would offer sex, something to take out his energy, but not now, not when his shoulder is busted and he's barely sitting up straight. 

"You're angry." She says "At who. Yourself?"

"We lost someone." Tony croaks. "A kid."

Pepper freezes. "A child?"

"No," Tony says, shaking his head. "A -- he was a kid, you know. Young, I mean. Remember I told you about the compound in Sovokia? Strucker was -- "

"The twins." Pepper says "Maria filled me in."

"The boy. He died. He." Tony shrugs. "Whatever. He was just a kid."

"Do you blame yourself?"

Tony seems to think. "Did Maria tell you what the girl can do?"

"She... manipulates minds."

"Right. So when I was staring at that sceptre... she showed me things."

"Showed you things?"

Tony swallows. "I don't -- " his voice cracks. "I can't say. I won't."

"I'm not asking."

She's trailing her fine fingers over his scalp, through his thick, soft hair. "It scared me." He says, bluntly. "I panicked. I took the sceptre, and I convinced myself -- I told myself I needed to. She knew what she was doing. She knew what fears to push."

"Then you were forced."

"Sure. I killed her parents, though."

Pepper thinks quickly. Sovokia, the bombings, Christ, not this again. "Tony you can't keep blaming yourself for every person who was ever killed by a Stark industries -- "

"I know what it's like to look at the weapon you think is going to kill you." Tony says quietly. "I don't blame them for what they did."

"Okay." Pepper says, evenly. "Fair enough. They were confused, but you've already atoned for those sins. I've already -- " Pepper swallows "we've both paid our dues. She manipulated you, she knew what she was getting in to."

"I really don't think she did." Tony says, quietly. "They were just kids."

Pepper's still drawing her thumb over the back of Tony's neck. She thinks Tony's probably right.

And then she realises he's shaking, slightly. "They should try me." He mutters "I'm a war criminal."

"Tony -- "

"After what I did. I created a, a genocidal robot, Pepper. He tried to annihilate -- if Jarvis hadn't stopped him from reaching the codes, he would have got the nuclear weapons. Reduced the whole world to rubble."

"I don't understand -- "

"Because it's me." Tony says bitterly "Don't you get it? He modelled himself off me, he saw my files, he saw years and years of me through Jarvis and he took my -- Steve said, even. He said he sounded like me. The way he spoke, it -- he had humour, he -- Christ." Tony presses the back of his hand to his brow. "What a fucking nightmare."

His hands are shaking. "Do you want a tablet?" She asks, quietly.

Tony considers. "Yeah." He says "Yes. Something for sleeping, not -- it'll feel better in the morning."

"I don't doubt it." Pepper assures.

Tony meets her eyes for the first time. "Are you... will you stay tonight?"

Pepper uncaps a water bottle, takes the pills from the bedside cabinet. "I'm not going anywhere." She says "When was the last time you slept?"

Tony does that one-shouldered shrug again. "Few days ago, maybe."

She pushes his hair back on his head and Tony stares up at him, water bottle poised in his hand. "What." He asks.

"Nothing." Pepper says. "Drink. Sleep."

Tony palms the pill, swallowing it down. He keeps looking at her warily, like he's afraid she's going to spontaneously combust which, to be fair -- 

She strips off her silk blouse and wraps herself in one of his T's, just big enough to hang comfortably. There's not much height difference between them, but Tony is still big compared to her. Something she never really appreciated until the first time he held her in his arms.

He's a soft man, she thinks. He's not sharp, or cruel, or callous. At least, never to the people he loves. Right now, he's curled against the headboard, knees drawn slightly to his chest, water bottle tucked between his thighs and chewing on a nail. His hair is still damp from the shower, and he's naked. It doesn't seem to bother him, though, and he doesn't ask her to pass him any clothes.

His eyes flick up. "Are you -- "

"I'm going." She says, folding her skirt. "Get into bed, would you?"

Tony laboriously inches himself under the covers, wincing as he jars his shoulder. "You know," he says "Clint's got a whole set up in Iowa."

Pepper raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"Did you know? I didn't." Tony rests his hands over the sheet covering his lap. "A wife. Two kids. Number three on the way."

Pepper blinks. She tries to square the Clint Barton she knows with the man Tony's describing. "I -- okay." She says slowly.

"Yeah." Tony says, lacklustre.

Pepper slips under the sheet. "Are they okay?"

"Perfect. Fine. He's very careful."

"Kids?" Pepper says, mildly surprised. "How olds the oldest?"

"I don't know, like ten? Twelve? You know I can't tell."

"I'd like the meet the woman who can deal with Clint Barton."

Tony hums, head slipping to rest on Pepper's chest. "Yeah." He mumbles.

She gently teases her fingers round the back of his head, strokes his hair. "Is that what you want?" She asks. "A farm?"

"No." Tony says, tiredly. "Just -- maybe I've done enough."

"What?"

"Maybe this time I mean it. Maybe -- "

"Scrapping the suits doesn't work, Tony. You don't have to do that for me."

Tony yawns. "I know." He says "I know that. I just mean -- " 

Silence. "You just mean what?" Pepper prompts.

Tony jerks, and Pepper realises half-guiltily that he'd just dropped off. "Uh," he says, blearily "you and me. I just mean maybe we should tone it down."

"Sure, Tony." Pepper says. Anything to help him sleep. He's lying to himself, she knows. She doesn't doubt he wants it, doesn't doubt he's ready for a quiet life, her, maybe even a few kids. She just knows it's not a reality. Not for them. Never for him. He loves her, more than anything, but the rest of the world comes first. And she's made her peace, maybe.

She keeps dragging her fingers through his hair, humming softly. "We should send flowers." She says, suddenly. "For Clint's new baby."

There's no response. Tony's head has slipped, lying on her lap, arms tucked close to his chest. She keeps smoothing his hair behind his ear, humming softly while he sleeps.

Her hand brushes the wound on his temple.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written pepperony before?? Ever?? I literally always write Steve/Tony?? Any comments you have on how you think i did their dynamic is loved!! any comments at all, really!
> 
> i just couldn't get this out of my head, so i figured i'd write it. maybe i'll do more pepperony in the future, who knows.


End file.
